Why Didn’t I Get Stepternity Leave? – Stepmom Help

Definition of Stepternity Leave=

Time off from work for step parents to get to know and bond with their new stepchildren.

When do stepmoms catch a break?
We need time off from work to blend our families!

Do you know many women who give birth to massive multiples?  You probably don’t.  Yet, when a woman has one baby, they are granted maternity leave from work.  Usually, they have six to 12 weeks to stay home and get to know their newborn.  Yet, when a stepmom becomes the parent to two, three, four, five or six new children, we get nothing.

Where is the stepternity leave?  At least a newborn is not talking.  They sleep, eat and poop.  Stepchildren sleep, eat, poop and talk!  They have a lot to say, too.  Usually, it involves why we are an annoyance to live with, why we are responsible for their parents’ divorce and why our cooking is terrible.  Our rules suck, too.

After my wedding ceremony, I woke up to four children: three stepchildren and my bio child.  I needed about a six month stepternity leave, but no one seemed interested in granting this time.  I got up and went to work the day after the wedding.  If you think about it, it makes sense to give us the paid time off.  After all, forming a new stepfamily is even more complicated than giving birth to a new person.  We have more bonds to forge. Think of all the people that we have to convince to like us:  the children, our new partner, the ex spouse, the new partner’s family, the ex spouse’s family and our own extended family.  I am exhausted just thinking about it.

The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) gives employees up to 12 weeks off for the following life events.  The employers are mandated to protect the employee’s job and provide the services also listed below:

The FMLA mandates unpaid, job-protected leave for up to 12 weeks a year:

• to care for a new child, whether for the birth of a son or daughter, or for the adoption or placement of a child in foster care;
• to care for a seriously ill family member (spouse, son, daughter, or parent) (Note: Son/daughter has been clarified by the Department of Labor to mean a child under the age of 18 or a child over the age of 18 with a mental or physical disability as defined by the American Disabilities Act, which excludes among other conditions, pregnancy and post-partum recovery from childbirth);^[5]
• to recover from a worker’s own serious illness;
• to care for an injured service member in the family; or
• to address qualifying exigencies arising out of a family member’s deployment.

The FMLA further requires employers to provide for eligible workers:

• The same group health insurance benefits, including employer contributions to premiums, that would exist if the employee were not on leave.
• Restoration to the same position upon return to work. If the same position is unavailable, the employer must provide the worker with a position that is substantially equal in pay, benefits, and responsibility.
• Protection of employee benefits while on leave. An employee is entitled to reinstatement of all benefits to which the employee was entitled before going on leave.
• Protection of the employee to not have their rights under the Act interfered with or denied by an employer.
• Protection of the employee from retaliation by an employer for exercising rights under the Act.
• Intermittent FMLA leave for his or her own serious health condition, or the serious health condition of a family member. This includes occasional leave for doctors’ appointments for a chronic condition, treatment (e.g., physical therapy, psychological counseling,chemotherapy), or temporary periods of incapacity (e.g., severe morning sickness, asthma attack).

Note that there have been amendments to his act.  Most notably, the definition of ‘family’ has been broadened.  The Department of Labor on June 22, 2010 clarified the definition of “son and daughter” under the FMLA “to ensure that an employee who assumes the role of caring for a child receives parental rights to family leave regardless of the legal or biological relationship” and specifying that “an employee who intends to share in the parenting of a child with his or her same sex partner will be able to exercise the right to FMLA leave to bond with that child.”  The great state of New Jersey, specifically mentioned step parents within their family definition.

Although step parents are starting to be defined as viable family members, note that the FMLA does not appear to include the act  of acquiring new children via marriage.  Why not?  I say that your time away from work should be measured by the amount of aggravation the new child or children present.  A new baby?  Very little aggravation.  New stepchildren?  Good chance, we’ll get the whole 12 weeks.  So, let’s get this issue on the ballot and fight for step parent rights.  I am ready for some time off.  Aren’t you?