The angel and the devil sits on the shoulders of all stepmoms. You know what I mean. Mother’s Day is a perfect example. The angel on my right shoulder says:
“I don’t want to cause any conflicts. I want the kids to spend time with their mother. This is my main concern.”
The devil on my left shoulder whispers the following:
“I work really hard. After all I have done for those kids, the least they can do is spend some time with me on Mother’s Day. I deserve to be recognized!”
The conflicted feelings make me just hate Mother’s Day. But, then I think, “Hey! Just like everything else about my life as a stepmother, Mother’s Day makes me face a core human need: Seen, Heard, Mattered.” At the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want? We want to know that we mattered. We want to be heard. Since Mother’s Day is a day of recognition, it brings those core needs to the forefront. Sometimes, they come SCREAMING to the forefront!
Let’s face it. Tell me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t it feel as if we are never acknowledged for anything? The key is that this is how we feel, not what is real. Many times, our family members are trapped within their own emotions and obligations. Children don’t want to disappoint or hurt their moms. Some children just don’t want to spend time with their stepmother on Mother’s Day. They just want their mom. Husbands are put in the middle trying to make everyone happy. Think about those dads that have young ones. They have to plan Mother’s Day for the bio mom and the stepmother. I think that is called a lose-lose proposition.
Why don’t we celebrate ourselves? We know we rock the house. We don’t need others to prove that for us. Tell your partner exactly what you want to do on Mother’s Day and relax. If the kids can’t make it on Sunday, get together on another day. It’s all good.