• The Evil Stepmother Speaks-One Day I Became Peaceful-Stepmother Help

  • stepmother help stepmother advice be peace to the family

    When the Stepmother Becomes Peace, The Family Finds Space to Breathe
    Image from Maylou Falstreau

    One day her desire for peace became so great, she became peace.  I think I’ll write that one again:

    ONE DAY HER DESIRE FOR PEACE BECAME SO GREAT, SHE BECAME PEACE.

    The artist and poet Mary Falstreau wrote this lovely sentiment.  The true meaning behind this thought and her artwork hold the wisdom of all the ages.  Wouldn’t it be nice to have peace in your life?  A quiet brain?  A good night’s sleep?

    Stop looking for peace and harmony outside of yourself.  Your partner/spouse can’t give it to you.  The ex wife is not the reason you can’t find tranquility.  Your stepchildren’s perfect behavior will not deliver harmony to your heart and mind.  Only you can live in a space of peace.  In fact, just like MaryLou’s words, you can become peace.  You just have to decide that this is who you are.

    How nice to become the home of peace within our families.  Conflicts with the bio parents?  We don’t know how to get involved because we are peace.  We only know calm and silence.  Children not behaving?  Nasty comments from the ex?  We do not hear or see anything because our brains cannot process these behaviors.  They carry no meaning.  We only know stillness.  When asked to participate in drama, our answers are always the same, “I truly do not understand.  I wish you well.”

    Ahhhh……sounds great.  How do I get to that place?  Pretend. You just decide to be in that place.  Walk out of the room, out of earshot when drama starts to occur.  It’s none of our business.  Our job is to remain peaceful.  If the ex wants to discuss policy issues with you, pace the phone or email onto the other bio parent.  It’s not our place.  We commit to following policies, not creating them.  Lead from the stillness.  Smile.  Start calling yourself a peace master.  Over time, it will become a habit.  A peaceful habit.