I really dislike the term bio Mom as must as I dislike the term stepmom. I have used these terms in my blogs on a frequent basis. I use them because I am trying to differentiate who I am talking about. A few readers have called me on the carpet about the bio Mom title and I must say that I agree with them. In essence, these readers have accused me of degrading the position of Mom to strictly a biological condition. In no way did I mean to give that impression. So, for anyone that has been offended, I apologize. I have decided to just use the term, Mom, in the future. For the record, I am a Mom and a Stepmom and I completely understand the critical importance of both roles.
One of the readers that had issue with my usage of the word bio Mom mentioned Trisha Yearwood. She said that Trisha Yearwood really has it right when it comes to being a stepmother. I could not agree more. Ms. Yearwood has always shown the ultimate respect for her stepchildren’s mother and father and has repeatedly said that she “prefers to call herself a ‘bonus mom’ who has become a “third voice” in her stepdaughter’s lives. She has also discussed how scary it was to become a stepmother and has learned what wonderful relationships can grow with your stepchildren. She is a role model for all of us.
I remember when I first heard Trisha Yearwood use the term bonus mom. I loved the term and hoped that it would catch on, but I don’t think it has. While a term like bio Mom is not engrained in our culture, ‘stepmother’ certainly is. I only wish the connotation of the evil, selfish, cruel woman would dissipate, but it will probably take more than the efforts of the talented Trisha Yearwood to move us to another place in society. Unless there are some Moms out there who want to take up the cause?
Hmmm…that gave me a thought. What if I started a petition on Change.org? Change.org is a wonderful organization dedicated to making change in the world. It allows anyone to advertise their cause and get their message out to the world and to those who can create this change. These petitions allow others in the world to participate in a cause by signing the petition.
I thought I would create a petition that asked that stepmothers no longer be thought of in a negative light. Let’s change the stepmother label to bonus mom, officially. On the Change.org website, I clicked on the ‘start a petition’ button. The first question was: To whom are you directing this petition? In other words, what organization should I be directing this petition? What person, organization or government body can initiate this change? I have no idea. To whom should I direct my petition? Disney? Brothers Grimm? The universe? Maybe, it’s just a cause whose time has not come. Or, has it?
Moms, Stepmoms and Bonus Moms, let’s go to Happy Hour to discuss.
Disclosure! I used the bio term a few times in my book, The Evil Stepmother Speaks: A Guide for Stepfamilies Who Want to Love and Laugh. Apologies, but I felt like no one would know who I was talking about! I won’t do it again.