It is easy to think of the stepmother as that woman your ex partner married. If the stepmother is just that woman who is in the house, it lessens the pain of the divorce and the consequences that failed relationship has brought. After all, the worst part of a divorce is the consequences wrought upon the children. As the children begin their journey between homes and the parents begin their journey being separated from their children, the adjustment can be painful. As change ensues, fear and anger can become everyone’s new roommate. As the new roommate looks for a way to cope, the first object it wants is a scape goat. Who can we blame? The ex spouse is a good choice. But, it come with dire repercussions for the children. The better scape goat is the stepmother: that objective person who partnered with your ex. “That woman.”
“That woman” has a secret identity. It is the image that no one wants to think about or acknowledge. Here is who we are:
- We are the women who hug your children when they are scared.
- We are the women who cook for your kids.
- We are the women who make sure that homework is done.
- We are the women who read bedtime stories.
- We are the women who diaper your babies and rock your children to sleep.
- We are the women who make sure the children’s rooms are clean.
- We are the women who make your children laugh.
- We are the women who watch your children play sports.
- We are the women who wake your children and make sure they get to school on time.
- We are the women who smile when your children walk in the door.
- We are the women who listen to your children when their parents are not there.
- We are the women who cry when we see your children hurting and know that we can’t help.
- We are the women who take your children shopping when they need something last minute.
- We are the women who pick up your children from school and take them wherever you want them to be when you are working or busy.
- We are the women who worry that your child support is paid.
- We are the women who don’t sleep at night worrying about your children.
- We are the women who want your children to have the best in life.
- We are the women who love your children.
Yes, we are “that stepmother woman”.