Stepmother Help-“You Owe Me!!!”

Stepmothers are not owed anything.  It's our choice.
Stepmothers Are Like The Sun.
No One Owes Us Anything, While We Try to Keep the Home Warm

Is The Stepmother Owed Anything?

Hafiz says, “The sun never says to the earth, ‘you owe me’.”  Yet, the sun lights up the entire earth.  It begs the question, “Does anyone owe anyone?”  I have a gut feeling that many stepmothers have thought to themselves, “you owe me”.  Have you ever felt that your spouse ‘owes’ you?  How about the bio mom?  The kids?  Is there anyone who hasn’t “owed” us?  It’s the old story of the thankless job.  All the parental work and worry without any of the credit.

The idea of being owed something is another one of those left brained/ego driven thoughts.  When we feel as if we are owed, does it mean that we are lacking something?  Are we jealous of the bio parents?  Do we yearn for similar status?  Are we basking in the idea that life has been unfair to us while everyone else seems to have it better?

4 Responses to Stepmother Help-“You Owe Me!!!”

  1. Ugh, sadly I do sometimes feel this way. Thank you for putting into words exactly why I should stop this destructive behavior.

    • It’s hard, right? Half the battle is just noticing what we are doing. The one great thing about being a stepmom is that it forces you to take a hard look at yourself.

  2. As a step-mom to a perfect 15 year old boy. I admittedly do feel I am
    “owed”. Hubby has custody. Bio-Mom lives out of state. I do everything. I can’t have kids so, my step-son is my only. My fear is; will I be appreciated when I’m old & widowed… ? 🙁

    • At the end of the day, who cares if we are appreciated? The yearning to be appreciated seems like a waste of time to me. What does ‘appreciated’ mean anyway? I have found it more powerful to just appreciate myself and try to do the right things. I don’t mean to sound like some whoo whoo goody two shoes, but looking for approval from others is just a pain.

      Having said all of that, my experience has been that children are wise. They know when they are loved.

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