• Stepfamilies and the #SCOTUS Decision on Same-Sex Marriage

  • stepfamilies, stepparents, stepmother, stepchildren, stepmom

    Stepfamilies Need Their Own Supreme Court Decision!

    The Supreme Court of the United States (#SCOTUS) approved same-sex marriage today (the writing of this blog).  Per CNN online, “Voting 5-4 in each of two decisions, justices threw out part of a law that denied hundreds of federal benefits to same-sex couples and cleared the way for gays and lesbians to once again marry in California.”  Forget the politics.  On a big, spiritual level, this ruling is truly about love.  For one moment, think about how frustrating it must be for the LGBT community.  They have gone through:

    1. Loving someone while the entire world around them just does not understand.
    2. Loving someone and being unable to acknowledge it to the world or be acknowledged by the world.
    3. Loving someone while protecting them financially and medically is extremely difficult.

    Stepmothers!  Stepfathers!  Does any of this sound familiar?  Let’s go through it a bit and see if any of this resonates with you.

    1. Loving someone while the entire world around them just does not understand.
      Have you ever been introduced as the stepparent to your stepchildren?  Watch the reaction.  Often, people walk away or just start focusing the conversation on Mom and Dad.  Have you ever felt judged because you are the second spouse?  Not as pretty?  Not as smart?  Ever been called a bimbo?  Ever been called mean?
    2. Loving someone and being unable to acknowledge it to the world or be acknowledged by the world.
      Stepfamilies are certainly legal and we have all acknowledged to the world that we exist.  For some of you, total acceptance into your new stepfamilies have been a challenge.  It can be taxing to get acceptance from your new partner’s friends, as well.  Have you ever felt like a third wheel?  How about when conversations surround activities that happened prior to your arrival?  Awkward!  Alienating!  Have you ever found yourself looking around the room because you cannot participate in the conversation?  Let’s face it.  No one thinks your marriage is going to make it, right?
    3. Loving someone while protecting them financially and medically is extremely difficult.
      Of course, the image of the stepmother or stepfather that has married for money continues.  Beware if you move into a “nicer” house or “nicer” car.  Uh oh!  You didn’t get a large ring when you became engaged, did you?  If you did that, you are a permanent outcast.  There are many stepparents who are financially supporting their stepfamilies due to the child support/alimony obligations of their spouse.  There are many stepmothers and stepfathers who cover their stepchildren and spouse’s health care as well.  Yes, it is true.  You never hear about us.

    Is it time for the Supreme Court to take on the cause of the stepparents of the world?  I say a resounding, “YES”.  I’ll call the lawsuit, The Stepfamily Equality Case.  Who’s coming with me?