One Simple Tip that Can Lessen Any Stepmother’s Load

Bag Barter to a Better Stepmother

Stepmothers, ever feel as if you don’t have enough time?  Is your ‘To Do’ list so long that if you stayed up for a week you couldn’t get it all done?  Did you ever just not know what to do?  Today’s blog offers a practical solution:  bag it, barter it or better it.

As many of you are aware, I am a certified coach with Dr. Martha Beck.  As such, I get to learn from her and this technique called the 3 Bs is straight from Dr. Beck.  When you are faced with something that you really do not want to do or just do not like doing, you always have these three options to bag it, barter it or better it.

Bag It!  Just don’t do it.  Many of us forget that we actually have the option to not do something.  You may be thinking, “You don’t understand, I have to do it.”  I would like to challenge whether you “have to” do everything.  Obviously, some things have to be done.  It probably is a good idea to pick the kids up from baseball practice as opposed to leaving them stranded.  Review the rest of the items on your ‘to do’ list that you really don’t want to do. Do you really “have to” do it?  Or, do you feel pressured into doing it either by someone or society?  Think of it like this.  What if you took the words “have to” out of your vocabulary.  Replace those words with “choose to”.  This simple modification can revolutionize the way you think about your day.  “I choose to take out the garbage” has a lovely ring to it.

Barter It!  Do you know that there are some people that like to do the tasks that you hate?  It’s true.  There are some people that love to clean and others that despise it.  Why not trade your skills?  I have a girlfriend that loves to organize come over to clean up my clutter.  I bribe her with wine.  It’s an easy trade!  Faced with a family issue and you just don’t know what to do?  Why not barter a skill that you may have with a trusted life coach or psychologist?  Why not?

Better It!  For those things that you just have to do, you can make them better.  The dishes have to be washed and, hopefully, you have kids that will do them.  Either way, why not put on great music and dance through the dishes?  Can you use fun rewards to make tasks more pleasant?  “The kid with the cleanest room, gets to go with me for a free pedicure!”

As your daily lives unfold, continue to ask yourself.  Do I really have to do this?   Can I barter this to someone who loves it and save myself for the things that I love?  How can I make this better?   By adding joy to each task, life gets better for everyone.