The Mommy-isms We All Know and Love. Isn’t it time for a Stepmommy-ism?

stepfamily, stepmother, stepmom, stepkids
We Need Some StepMommy-isms!

I love mommy-isms.  You know what they are.  They are the classic expressions that your mother used and you swore that you would never say.  But, then, you find that you are saying them.  Some are wise.  Some are ridiculous.  Some are downright horrible and some would generate a call to your state’s child protective services.  I thought it would be fun to take a look at them and see if any of them have a place in our stepmother world.

I’m your mother, not your maid!

This one certainly doesn’t work.  In many cases, it feels as if we are the maid.  By the way, we also feel like party planners.

Am I talking to a wall?

Yes.  You probably are talking to a wall because stepmoms struggle with getting the stepkids to do chores.  Moms have the same challenge. Our dishes probably stay dirtier a lot longer. 

I brought you into this world, I will take you out!

No go on this one either.  Although we didn’t bring our stepchildren into this world, we still have those days when we would like to take them out. 

I’ll give you something to cry about!

The biggest tears in a stepfamily come from the eyes of the stepmother. Stepfamily members all have something to cry about, but they tend to hide it from one another.  No one wants the other person to see the fear in his or her heart.

This is not a restaurant.  Kitchen’s closed.

The entire food issue can be a beautiful thing, if you know how to handle it.  It will feel as if you are running a restaurant because the kids are adjusting to new foods and a new table to join.  Listen to what the kids like.  Surprise them with your fun meals.  Don’t make different meals for each kid.  Let your partner handle any controversies.  If push comes to shove, just tell them about the starving kids in China

Isn’t it time for stepmothers to have their own STEPMOMMY-ISMS?  We can say ridiculous and horrible things, along with the best of them.  Here are a few to consider.

I get it.  I’m not your mother.  Duh.

For some reason, it seems to be very important to remind stepmothers that they are not the children’s mothers.  We know this fact.  We remember the people that we gave birth to and don’t need a constant reminder.  By the way, just because we are not your mothers, does not mean you can disrespect us or not listen to anything we say.

The kid says, “I don’t have to listen to you.”  Guess what?  It goes both ways!

You can point at the kids when you say this one. Do we ever give ourselves a break and realize that we do not have to be perfect and listen to everyone?  Put your earplugs in and listen to some music. 

I don’t care what you do at your Mother’s house.  This is your Dad’s house with a new sheriff in charge.

How many times have you heard about what the rules at Mom’s house?  “We don’t have to do this at Mom’s house.”  Most likely, that information is incorrect.  I am still waiting for the story of a stepchild that said, “Hey!  We have to do far more chores at Mom’s house.  Let me show you the list so I can do them here.”  Believe me, there are chore everywhere and there’s a good chance that Mom is being told that they don’t have to do anything at your house.

Don’t make me ship you back to your mother in a suitcase.

This is one to say when you are losing your mind.  When your stepmom brain shrinks to the size of a pea and you think you have seen and heard it all, you might use this stepmommy-ism.  Screaming is in order.

Here is a mommy-ism and stepmommy-ism that we can all use. 

I want the best for you.  Someday, you’ll see that I was right.

Can’t you just see the eyes rolling?  I certainly hope they don’t freeze that way!

Parenting is a weird phenomenon.  Despite all of the wild advice and ‘isms’, most children turn out just fine.  It is possible and, quite likely, that everyone can be right.  Despite all of the parental ‘isms’ and best-laid plans and efforts, the children know who their parents are and love them dearly.  It is possible for two women to be in a child’s life, without getting confused as to whom your Mother is.  It is also silly to assume that we stepmothers want to be your child’s mother.  When you think about it, why would you make this assumption?  If you don’t believe me, I may have to wash your mouth out with soap. 

 

7 Responses to The Mommy-isms We All Know and Love. Isn’t it time for a Stepmommy-ism?

  1. I love using the I’m not your mom, duuuhhh one! It’s actually came out of my mouth a few times. I love the look as if they don’t know what to say after that. Will definately have to keep the shipping back to mom in a suitcase one in the file cabinet for use later.

    Thankfully the food issue has been a nonissue for us. Except who is fighting over who gets to pick the supper. They all have stepmom favorites and it usually leads to a fight over who the favorite child is. I think the words from my oldest sson was, you get to eat her food every night, I don’t. The middle son requested a dish I have made a lot, but not for them because it’s one of their favorites at moms. One of my dear steps said there was a party in his stomache and if kids in Etheopia could eat that they would have a heart attack from it being so good. Thankfully food is in my corner! :)

  2. For us, the main issue between the two houses has always been, and continues to be the difference in bedtimes. It’s hard to get them back on track when they come home from their weekend away, completely exhausted from lack of bedtimes. But we grow and learn and have been teaching my stepson that it is his responsibility as a nearly 12 year old to shut off the TV and go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Compromise has been key.

  3. I love it! Especially, the “I’m not your mother, duuh!” one. I may have to use that myself. I nominate, “Check to see if money grows on your mother’s trees”, “Why? Because if you don’t I’ll tell your father”, and “desert for everyone before you go to your dad’s house” as other possible stepmommy-isms.

    Thanks for the laugh – best to all.

    A. S. Noraford

    http://www.blendedfamilysurvivalguide.com

  4. My SS is an only child at his BM’s house, and he is the oldest of 3 at our house. Sometimes I hear myself say, “We have more rules here because I have three kids to think about- not just you!”

  5. Also, I’ll never say “This is your Dad’s house,” or “I’ll tell your Dad when he comes home.” This is MY house, MY rules, and if any of the kids don’t respect them, then that kid and I are going to have a problem. –And if it’s SS, then I’ll ship him back to his mom’s house in a suitcase! lol

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