How to Become Irresistible Parents to Your Children, Your Family and The World

Recently, I started painting. I love doing it.  Yet, I have no attachment to it. When I am painting, it is for the pure joy of it. My first painting was chosen in a juried exhibition and now sits in a gallery. Sorry, but that’s crazy. I am convinced the piece was chosen because I am just not attached to it. In fact, every time my artwork is mentioned, I start laughing and I cannot explain why. It’s just so funny.

Remarriage, Parentings, Stepparenting, Stepmother, Stepmom, Children, Teenage Daughter, Teenage Son
Irresistible Art and Love

Parenting is the same way, both bio parenting and step parenting.  Love your children, but have no attachments.  What would love look like if us parents had no expectations?  The children would not have to be brilliant or feel as if they have to be perfect.  Children would not have to like you or love you.

How do you know if you have attachments?  Anxiety is the key.  If you feel anxious, then you know that you have expectations.  Take a moment and get clean.  That is, be honest and write down your true expectations.  Tell me if I’m wrong, but I believe that most step moms really want their stepchildren to love and like them.  I certainly did.  What if we just loved them and got rid of those expectations?  By definition, we couldn’t be disappointed.

Love without attachment is the sweet spot of life.  It is not easy to do, but worth striving for.  It is totally irresistible to those on the receiving end.

P.S.  As a certified Martha Beck life coach, I wanted you to know that these concepts were inspired by Dr. Martha Beck’s blog.  Take a look at it.  As always, Dr. Beck is brilliant. http://bit.ly/pp7j8x

4 Responses to How to Become Irresistible Parents to Your Children, Your Family and The World

  1. I’ve studied yoga and the concept of non-attachment, and I totally understand this as it applies to relationships. You’re right. It’s not easy. I work daily to love my stepchildren w/out expectations. Where they are is where they are. I try to meet them there. I understand that I can only effect me. My challenge is trying to get my husband to understand this approach and not put his expectations of how I should interact with his children on me.

  2. Wow I have anxiety about the kids all the time…clearly I need to let that go and try to meet the kids “where they are”. I have expectations because that is how my mother raised me…I never feel good enough. I catch myself doing the same thing to my step kids…I don’t want them to feel not good enough…It is just very hard to let certain things go if you have your mother’s voice ringing in your ears about what should be done and how it should be done.

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