Ean’s Mom vs Silence aka If We Don’t Acknowledge the Stepmother, Maybe She Won’t Be There

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While raising my bio-son, Ean, I lost my name. No one called me ‘Barb’ any more. They called me ‘Ean’s mom’. “Oh, there’s Ean’s mom! Ean, your mom is here! Hi, Ean’s mom!” Once he was born, Ean had such an active social life, that I just started to introduce myself as ‘Ean’s mom’. I must say that I loved it. Even though Ean is now older, I still get recognized as his mom periodically. It’s the greatest.

At the same time that I was raising Ean, I had three fantastic stepchildren. I did not lose my name. I just lost myself. Apparently, I disappeared. As soon as you are introduced as the stepmom, all eye contact was lost. Conversation stopped. I think I walked miles trying to travel around people in an attempt to get their eyes to meet mine. I used to fantasize that I had an invisibility cloak like Harry Potter.

You can tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think there is a stepmom who has not experienced the following scenario. You attended an event to showcase your stepchild. Someone, who did not know you, saw you with the child and was probably assuming that you were the mom. They approached smiling broadly. Then, you got introduced. “Meet my stepmom!” Smile vanished. Poof! Get your invisibility cloak.

Stepmoms Disappear into the Lonely Starry Night