• The Stepmother and The Ex in Retrograde “Pluto, the planet of karmic patterns, rebirth, restoration, healing and transformation, has now stationed retrograde and will remain retrograde until October 4th, 2020.” ~ Alex Myles As the planet, Pluto, moves into retrograde, it is taking our families on a wild ride.  Perhaps, you can already feel it.  More upset?  Deep feelings of isolation? 

    Read more

    Many of you have asked about how the Couples Retreat went.  As you may be aware, Jenna Korf and I held our first Couples Retreat last weekend (June, 2017).  It was an ultimate dream for us.  After all, what would be better than to have a chance to coach both Dad and Stepmom together?  Nothing is better than that! Let me share the gist of the weekend. We taught partnership.  When you truly

    Read more

    My Stepmother Wall has a long couch. I'm setting boundaries. If you have ever been told that you do too much for others, this blog is for you.  Do you feel that you can’t say ‘no’ to people?  Are you sorry you said ‘yes’ and then resent it later?  Welcome to the club of people that know what it feels like to be used.  The motto of the club is that being ‘liked’ takes

    Read more

    Join us for our 2017 Stepmom Retreats! Stepfamily life is tough. The only thing that is tougher than blending the family is keeping your marriage intact.  Statistics vary from a 50% to 75% divorce rate in a marriage where there are children from a prior relationship.  Anyone who is a member of a stepfamily will attest that they had no idea what they were getting into. Parenting and the

    Read more

    Lions! Tigers and Bears! Oh my, It's the Summer Season! Oh, boy!  The school year is ending and for many of us it means that the children's schedules are changing.  We may have the kids for half the summer or camp schedules are starting.  First tip is to remember that every time there is a change, even if it is minor, it will get exaggerated in a divorced family.  Why?  It triggers

    Read more

    Resentment is like that chocolate cake that you can't stop eating. When you feel resentful, do you feel disappointed in yourself?  Feel as if you are a bad or selfish person?  If you feel any of these things, know that you are not alone.  Resentment is that feeling you have when you are doing something that you just don’t want to do or that you feel unappreciated doing.  What makes

    Read more

    Stepmother Lament: Why Do I Feel This Resentment? Don’t you hate feeling resentment?  Resentment is that feeling of doing things that you just don’t want to do, yet feel obligated to do.  When I feel resentment, I feel as if I am being childish. I feel guilty and I feel bad about me.  Usually feelings of resentment center around thoughts that we have been taught are “bad”.  Maybe,

    Read more

    Resist Terrorism Through Compassion When you are at war, you feel alone, isolated and as if no one cares about you. Think about it.  Have you ever argued with someone and found yourself repeating the story over and over again in an effort to get people to be ‘on your side’? This is your effort to not feel alone in the battle.  When a country is at war, the citizens of that country feel

    Read more

    Haven't we all said it or thought it.  Here is the rant. That ex is insane! I mean it. Really insane. How can a mother treat her children that way? That ex is so mean to my partner.  She is completely unreasonable.  What the hell, Bitch? The question is whether or not we are being fair.  Let’s think about a few factors that may play into our perceptions. 1.    Our Initial

    Read more

    Stepmothers: Do You See Through a Positive or Negative Space? Do you recognize yourself? When was the last time you pointed out a negative characteristic of your partner?  Their ex wife?  Their children?  If you do not have to think very hard, this blog may be for you. Nagging.  By definition, nagging is the pointing out of negative qualities to someone.  It is the ultimate downer. 

    Read more