Category Archives: Stepternity

Are Stepmoms like the Substitute Teacher?

stepfamily, stepfamily help
Are Stepmoms Really Just Substitute Teachers?

Is the #stepmom the same as the substitute (sub) teacher?  Remember when you were in school and the sub came in?  The mere thought of it gets my heart racing in glee.  My brain starts calculating how I can mess with her.  Actually, I am really waiting for the bad kids to start messing with her so I can watch and giggle.  It isn’t right.  I know it, but it is kind of fun in a sick way.  The one thing that we definitely knew when the sub walked in was that we didn’t have to do our work.  There was a good shot that we were not getting homework and that I could chat with my girlfriends during class.

It would be rude and untoward to consider a stepmom to be a replacement for Mom.  Of course, that is not true.  But, isn’t stepmom life a lot like being that substitute teacher?  I thought a deeper look into that analogy was appropriate, so here you go

substitue stepmom chartI will bet that many substitute teachers never want to go back to those rude classrooms, just like many stepmoms feel as if they want to leave.  But, there is one critical difference.  The substitute teacher comes and goes.  The students may never see them again.  Stepmoms have time on their hands.  We do not have to rush our relationships.  We can observe and take mental notes.  We can really get to know our family’s hopes, dreams and fears.  They can study ours.  Even though our classrooms are large, we can still create a schedule that works. We can write our own lesson plans for the family and for ourselves.  We are free to take a recess whenever we need one.There are no grades.  Doing our best is our measure of excellence.  We know that there are times that we need to be sent to the principal’s office, but that is just part of the journey.  As we move from elementary to junior high school to high school and onward to ‘stepmom’ college, we look forward to our graduation day when we look back and say, “This education has made me who I am.  I am wiser and tougher.  I have learned to be more patient and empathetic.  My family is way better off because I was here.  Pass me a beer!”

The Evil Stepmother Speaks: Tip #6 Stepfamily Life Feeling Depressing? Try Stepmother Whimsy!

I felt compelled to write this blog when I saw the video of the Southwest Airlines flight from Phoenix to Los Angeles.  This is so great!  Singer Gavin DeGraw was on the flight.  Southwest Airlines asked or paid him to sing to the customers during the flight.  It was completely impromptu for the passengers.  The… Continue Reading

Stepmom Help! Dr. Laura Schlesinger or A Soft Place to Land

Dr. Laura Schlesinger always advises her clients that they should never marry a person with children.  She advises that divorced parents should focus should on the children and there is not room for another person.  She also argues that there will always be resentments on all sides.  Maybe, she is right. The other day, I… Continue Reading


2013 will be a more peaceful year for stepmothers, stepfathers and step families throughout the world.  I just feel it.  As a New Year’s Gift to all step parents, I am offering 3 tips to provide more peace to your families in 2013.   Admittedly, these tips are very ‘whoo-whoo’.  When you read them, you may… Continue Reading

Why Didn’t I Get Stepternity Leave? – Stepmom Help

Definition of Stepternity Leave= Time off from work for step parents to get to know and bond with their new stepchildren. Do you know many women who give birth to massive multiples?  You probably don’t.  Yet, when a woman has one baby, they are granted maternity leave from work.  Usually, they have six to 12… Continue Reading