Category Archives: Other Family Events

Stepmother Lament: He Doesn’t Do Anything for Me!

stepmother, step family, blended, divorce, mother, parenting, remarriage
Stepmothers Often Do All the Work

Once, I did a podcast called “I May Not be First on the List, But Can I Get on the List?”  In this podcast, I was highlighting a common feeling among stepmothers.  It feels as if we are just not important.  It is like we are invisible.  In fact, the only time that we become really visible is when work has to be done:  picking kids up, packing lunches, doing laundry, keeping the house in some sort of viable shape and cooking meals.

To make matters worse, we sometimes wonder, “Does he ever think about planning a romantic moment for me?”  Intellectually, we know that our partners are as overwhelmed as we are, yet, we long for that feeling of being loved.  We don’t want to have to tell him that we want him to plan that weekend or purchase that thoughtful gift.  We just want him to do it…without being asked or prodded.  After all, he should know that we need romantic encouragement.  He should know how important this is to us. We’ve told him a million times.

Here’s the bottom line.  I already feel as if I have to plan everything.  For once, I want him to do something….something for me…without being asked and without me planning anything.

On the surface, our request is a reasonable one.  In reality, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.  Most men need to be told what you want.  If you know what you want for your birthday, tell them.  If you want to go to a certain place for a weekend, tell them.  Give them the phone numbers of the hotel.  You may have to make the arrangements.  Trust me that when you receive that gift or go on that weekend, the meaning will not be tainted by the fact that you had to tell your man what you need.  This idea that gifts and/or getaways only have meaning when someone else guesses what you want or makes the reservations is a faulty one.

What is important is that your partner showed up. He showed up with that gift.  He showed up on that date.  Start here.  Thank your partner profusely for what he is able to do.  Once he sees your happiness, he will start to do more.

You see, your partner wants your happiness more than anything else in the world.  It may not show everyday, but that is your man’s main goal.

stepmother, step family, blended, divorce, mother, parenting, remarriage
Stepmothers Often Do All the Work

You can test this theory.  Start telling him every time you are happy. Even if you have to do the ‘work’, book that date and tell him how happy you are to be there.  No complaining about how he did nothing.  If you follow this plan, I promise you will see a man who will start to book things. Guaranteed.

Celebrating Stepfamily Day: Why #Stepfamilies Are Better

If you are lucky enough to have a stepparent, a step-sibling and step-relatives, September 16th is your day.  It is National Stepfamily Day.  The purpose of this day is to recognize stepfamilies by taking a minute and recognizing the love, care and support the step-relatives provide.  It is the day for us to remember how… Continue Reading

The Evil Stepmother Speaks: Tip #6 Stepfamily Life Feeling Depressing? Try Stepmother Whimsy!

I felt compelled to write this blog when I saw the video of the Southwest Airlines flight from Phoenix to Los Angeles.  This is so great!  Singer Gavin DeGraw was on the flight.  Southwest Airlines asked or paid him to sing to the customers during the flight.  It was completely impromptu for the passengers.  The… Continue Reading

The Boston Marathon Puts It All In Perspective

Today, April 15, 2013, will be remembered as the day that we will never feel completely safe when we participate in a marathon or other big community events.  All we know as of the writing of this blog is that two bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon.  At last count,… Continue Reading

Stepmothers Wonder “Will I Be Abandoned?”

A common lament among all of us stepmothers is “When will this all end?” or “When will this get better?”  I ask myself that same question and I have reached a new conclusion.  I think it is us.  Stepmothers are a fragile tribe.  We are hard working and focused, but our hearts are easily broken.… Continue Reading

Best Stepmother Advice! Ever Been Tattled On? Do You Live with a Tattletaler?

Ever been tattled on?  You know what I mean.  Someone tattle taled on you.  Remember tattletaling?  Let me refresh your memory.  According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a tattletale is an informer.  Here are the synonyms listed within the dictionary definition: Synonyms: betrayer, canary [slang], deep throat, fink, informant, nark [British], rat, rat fink, snitch, snitcher,… Continue Reading

The Forgotten Family Members, Friends and Strangers – The Grateful Stepmother

This week, our family gathered to celebrate the life of my father-in-law who passed away last year.  We just had a blast as we watched all of our children and grandchildren just have fun.  We ate and drank too much.  We celebrated another win from the Notre Dame football team.  (Our family lives in South… Continue Reading

I Feel Like the 5th Wheel! – Stepmother Help from The Evil Stepmother Speaks

Have you ever felt like a 5th wheel in your family?  I certainly have!  I have been a stepmother for over 20 years and I still have those moments.  You know what I’m talking about.  There is a family party and you feel as if you don’t belong.  There is a family life cycle event… Continue Reading

Stepmoms: Ever Feel Awkward and Exposed? – The Evil Stepmother Speaks

I can’t help it.  This video just makes me laugh.  It reminds me of how awkward it is when you first join your new family:  both as a new wife and stepmom.  You just feel so awkward and exposed.  Enjoy the cheap laugh! Continue Reading