Category Archives: Loneliness

Who Would Buy from a Stepmom Store?

stepmother help, stepmother gifts
Giving a Stepmother a Gift is a Great Idea

When I heard that Marni Price had invented a website called Stepmom Gifts, I was surprised.  A store devoted totally to gifts for stepmoms, reminded me of the scotch tape store sketch that was on Saturday Night Live years ago.  (If you don’t remember it, google it or check out Hulu.)  The joke was about a person who opened a scotch tape store in the mall?  How many people shop there a day, like zero?  The Stepmom Store appears to have the same consumer count, zero.   I mean…who would buy a gift for their stepmom?

At least people think about scotch tape around the holiday times.  When you are wrapping gifts, it is a must-have.  Not many people think about their stepmother, even on the holidays.  It is bad enough that you have to buy presents for your “real” parents, let alone a stepparent.  Scotch tape lives in your home 24/7.  Everyone has a roll in a drawer somewhere.  After all, you never know when you will need it.

In most cases, stepmothers do not live with their stepchildren 24/7.  The funny thing is that they are always there when you need them.  You don’t have to pay attention to them but they are happy to pick you up from your sports event.  They don’t mind cooking dinner for you or doing your laundry.   Sometimes, you get a gift from her without asking.  Stepmothers even give you their money.  After all, who do you think helps Dad pay for the things you need or want?  Yet, no one would ever think to visit a Stepmom Store.

Scotch tape helps to stick one item to another.  You choose what should be adhered.  You had no choice when you had to accept your stepmother. You wee forced to stick with her whether you wanted to or not.  Interestingly, your stepmother is stuck with you, too.  She sticks tight to you, whether you ask her or not.  Have you ever noticed how much she seems to care about you?  Even if you think she’s a pain, her intention is for you to live your best life.  I guess stepmothers and stepchildren are stuck together for life.  Why buy a present for someone who thinks about your best interests?  After all, you are stuck to her.

The 3M Company that invented Scotch tape says that they sell enough annually to circle the globe 165 times.  That is a lot of sticky tape.  With over 95 million people in a stepfamily, that is a lot of stepmothers.  I wonder how many of them have been willing to circle the globe to make their stepchildren’s lives better?  Who knows?  Maybe, your stepmother has wanted to circle the globe alone to get away from the mean comments said to many of them.  Maybe they would like to be in a space ship so they can escape their loneliness and isolation.  After all, who would thank a stepmother?  Who would buy her a gift?  Perhaps, it’s not such a bad idea after all.

 

My Resentment is All-Consuming

When you feel resentful, do you feel disappointed in yourself?  Feel as if you are a bad or selfish person?  If you feel any of these things, know that you are not alone.  Resentment is that feeling you have when you are doing something that you just don’t want to do or that you feel… Continue Reading

I Hate Feeling So Resentful!

Don’t you hate feeling resentment?  Resentment is that feeling of doing things that you just don’t want to do, yet feel obligated to do.  When I feel resentment, I feel as if I am being childish. I feel guilty and I feel bad about me.  Usually feelings of resentment center around thoughts that we have… Continue Reading

How to Resist Terrorism at Home

When you are at war, you feel alone, isolated and as if no one cares about you. Think about it.  Have you ever argued with someone and found yourself repeating the story over and over again in an effort to get people to be ‘on your side’? This is your effort to not feel alone… Continue Reading

Stepmother Lament: I Will Always Be An Outsider

“This family makes me feel like an outsider. I do all this work and I am still an outsider. When will I ever feel like I belong?” It’s a common stepmother lament. We cook, clean, run errands, pick up kids, buy them clothes and, yet, we feel like a third wheel. It is just this… Continue Reading

The Stepmother Who Blames: Is That You? (Yup!)

Do you find yourself blaming others for your life situation? See if any of these ‘stepmother’ statements strike a chord with you: “These kids are a nightmare because their mother and father don’t discipline them. It is their fault. Our marriage is a nightmare because the ex tortures us. It is her fault. I cook,… Continue Reading

Stepmothers Feel Like a Piece of Raw Meat

Stepmothers, were you shocked to find that you have been ‘left out to dry?” If you have ever felt this way, this blog is for you: “No one seems to care about what I feel.  I planned this beautiful event and the stepkids did not come.  Yet, they went to their mother’s event.  I do… Continue Reading

The Stepfamily and Life: It Is All About the Playground

It’s the end of the year. There have been holidays, custody changes, vacations and aggravations. There have also been feelings of extreme joy. Some of us have received notes of love and appreciation from our stepchildren and/or our partners. Some of us feel peace in the knowing that we are making a home base for… Continue Reading

Stepmom Help! Dr. Laura Schlesinger or A Soft Place to Land

Dr. Laura Schlesinger always advises her clients that they should never marry a person with children.  She advises that divorced parents should focus should on the children and there is not room for another person.  She also argues that there will always be resentments on all sides.  Maybe, she is right. The other day, I… Continue Reading

Stepmothers Wonder “Will I Be Abandoned?”

A common lament among all of us stepmothers is “When will this all end?” or “When will this get better?”  I ask myself that same question and I have reached a new conclusion.  I think it is us.  Stepmothers are a fragile tribe.  We are hard working and focused, but our hearts are easily broken.… Continue Reading