Category Archives: Boundaries

Stepmothers: Are We Too Harsh on the Ex?

Did you ever wonder why the ex-wife just can’t get over it?  Maybe, you are a stepmother who has been a part of the family for years, yet you still feel as though the ex-wife hates you.  You just don’t understand it.  As you know, we study the art and science of stepfamily management here… Continue Reading

A Stepmother Asks “How Do I Stop Myself from Asking about the Ex-Wife?”

Do you ever find yourself asking your partner: “What did she/he say?” “No, really, tell me what happened.” “I don’t care what she does.” Next moment. “Tell me what she did.” Do you feel as if you can’t seem to stop yourself? Does it feel as if you are addicted? So, why are we talking… Continue Reading

STEPFAMILIES: CAN YOU REALLY CO-PARENT WITH HIS EX? by Holly Robinson

This is a guest post by Author and Stepmother, Holly Robinson There was a moment last spring when I poured a cup of tea, carried it into the dining room to read the newspaper, then froze mid-sip when I noticed the date above the headlines. At that very moment, my husband’s ex-wife was enjoying the… Continue Reading

Stepmothers and Mothers Are Back In High School

Have you ever felt as if your stepfamily life mirrored your high school years?  Girls talking about one another?  Never feeling as if you were good enought?  Pretty enough?  Smart enough?  (Sounds like the SNL character Stuart Smalley) Life in high school was stressful. It was like you were uncomfortable in your own skin, right?… Continue Reading

HOW TO TRANSFORM FROM DESPICABLE ME (THE STEPMOTHER) TO HAPPY!

  Music can make all the difference. Music is one of the great mood lifters in our arsenal. Not only can it change our attitude, but it can change the attitudes and moods of our family members. Here’s a life changing tip: Every stepmother should have her earphones in 24/7. Keep your ipod full of… Continue Reading

I Hate the Way My Stepchildren Are Treated and There’s Nothing I Can Do.

Is that true? Is there nothing that you can do to affect your stepchildren’s life? If you feel powerless, I want to remind you of The Pygmalion Effect. The Pygmalion Effect is a scientifically proven phenomenon whereby the greater the expectation placed upon people the better they perform. Another way to look upon it is… Continue Reading

Where Do I Draw the Line? I Am the Stepmother, After All!

One of the most annoying things about being a stepmother is that it brings hard subjects up. Often the thing that we don’t want to do, comes up in stepparenting. You know what I mean. Issues like: Drawing the line on issues like self respect, your role in the family and in life, how you… Continue Reading

Stepmother Boundaries. Is it the Ultimate Self-Care?

You have to be willing to take care of you, first. Dr. Maya Angelou said, “I have to be a ninny to ask someone else to take care of me, if I’m not willing to take care of myself.” Yet, isn’t that one of our core frustrations as a stepmother? No one seems willing to… Continue Reading