Category Archives: Bonus Mom

Stepmothers Feel Like a Piece of Raw Meat

Stepmothers, were you shocked to find that you have been ‘left out to dry?” If you have ever felt this way, this blog is for you: “No one seems to care about what I feel.  I planned this beautiful event and the stepkids did not come.  Yet, they went to their mother’s event.  I do… Continue Reading

Stepmothers: Are We Too Harsh on the Ex?

Did you ever wonder why the ex-wife just can’t get over it?  Maybe, you are a stepmother who has been a part of the family for years, yet you still feel as though the ex-wife hates you.  You just don’t understand it.  As you know, we study the art and science of stepfamily management here… Continue Reading

A Stepmother Asks “How Do I Stop Myself from Asking about the Ex-Wife?”

Do you ever find yourself asking your partner: “What did she/he say?” “No, really, tell me what happened.” “I don’t care what she does.” Next moment. “Tell me what she did.” Do you feel as if you can’t seem to stop yourself? Does it feel as if you are addicted? So, why are we talking… Continue Reading

STEPFAMILIES: CAN YOU REALLY CO-PARENT WITH HIS EX? by Holly Robinson

This is a guest post by Author and Stepmother, Holly Robinson There was a moment last spring when I poured a cup of tea, carried it into the dining room to read the newspaper, then froze mid-sip when I noticed the date above the headlines. At that very moment, my husband’s ex-wife was enjoying the… Continue Reading

Who is that Stepmother Woman?

It is easy to think of the stepmother as that woman your ex partner married.  If the stepmother is just that woman who is in the house, it lessens the pain of the divorce and the consequences that failed relationship has brought.  After all, the worst part of a divorce is the consequences wrought upon… Continue Reading

Stepmothers and Mothers Are Back In High School

Have you ever felt as if your stepfamily life mirrored your high school years?  Girls talking about one another?  Never feeling as if you were good enought?  Pretty enough?  Smart enough?  (Sounds like the SNL character Stuart Smalley) Life in high school was stressful. It was like you were uncomfortable in your own skin, right?… Continue Reading

Stepfamilies Are a Fertile Ground for Passive Aggressiveness

Passive aggressiveness runs rampant in our stepfamilies.  I hypothesize that there is a minimum of one family member who exhibits these behaviors.  Are you one of the passive aggressive family members?  Or, are you living with passive aggressive people who drive you insane? Passive aggressiveness is when someone is agreeing with someone, but really doesn’t… Continue Reading

Stepmother Lament: When Will I Get Justice?

When will I get justice?  Have you ever thought about justice?  I know that I have. Does any of this sound familiar? “I do all of this work.  When will someone thank me?” ” I am always the one picking up the pieces.  Yet, I never get asked.  It’s just assumed I’ll watch the kids… Continue Reading

The Stepfamily Definition of Stupidity

They say that the definition of stupidity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result.  If we were to be honest with ourselves, do we do the same things?  Do we avoid the hard work associated with change?  Do we want to avoid any vulnerability to our stepfamily members? Do… Continue Reading

A Stepmother’s Legacy Found in a Starbucks Coffee

Have you ever thought about what is truly galvanizing you towards your life’s legacy?  I was moved to think about this question as I watched Oprah interview Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks.  Starbucks provides an aggressive benefits package for its employees that work 20 hours or more per week.  How great is that?  (As a… Continue Reading