• Stepmom Love “What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” William Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet, ca. 1600 I am jealous. Kamala Harris has the title of ‘Mamala’ to her step kids. Frankly, I wish I had a sweet moniker like that.  It reeks of connection and affection.  My step kids call me Barb.  Everyone calls me ‘Barb’ from my best friends

    Read more

    A Case of You by Joni Mitchell “I met a woman She had a mouth like yours, she knew your life She knew your devils and your deeds, and she said "Go to him Stay with him if you can But be prepared to bleed" A Case Of You lyrics © Crazy Crow Music / Siquomb Music Publishing Sometimes, when I think about life as a stepmother, I can feel my heart breaking into little pieces.  This is the

    Read more

    Stepmoms Feel Like They Have The Devil On One Shoulder and the Angel On The Other The angel and the devil sits on the shoulders of all stepmoms.  You know what I mean.  Mother's Day is a perfect example.  The angel on my right shoulder says: "I don't want to cause any conflicts.  I want the kids to spend time with their mother. This is my main concern." The devil on my left shoulder

    Read more

    The Stepmother and The Ex in Retrograde “Pluto, the planet of karmic patterns, rebirth, restoration, healing and transformation, has now stationed retrograde and will remain retrograde until October 4th, 2020.” ~ Alex Myles As the planet, Pluto, moves into retrograde, it is taking our families on a wild ride.  Perhaps, you can already feel it.  More upset?  Deep feelings of isolation? 

    Read more

    Softening..... It is time to soften. We (all women) have forgotten how to soften.  We are pressed with unspeakable demands every day which has encouraged us to act like men.  We have to be tough.  We have to make a living.  We have to do it all.  Let’s face it.  Our society has encouraged this skillset.  Women who have chosen to stay at home are often degraded either openly or

    Read more

    Many of you have asked about how the Couples Retreat went.  As you may be aware, Jenna Korf and I held our first Couples Retreat last weekend (June, 2017).  It was an ultimate dream for us.  After all, what would be better than to have a chance to coach both Dad and Stepmom together?  Nothing is better than that! Let me share the gist of the weekend. We taught partnership.  When you truly

    Read more

    Stepmothers Often Do All the Work Once, I did a podcast called “I May Not be First on the List, But Can I Get on the List?”  In this podcast, I was highlighting a common feeling among stepmothers.  It feels as if we are just not important.  It is like we are invisible.  In fact, the only time that we become really visible is when work has to be done:  picking kids up, packing lunches,

    Read more

    My Stepmother Wall has a long couch. I'm setting boundaries. If you have ever been told that you do too much for others, this blog is for you.  Do you feel that you can’t say ‘no’ to people?  Are you sorry you said ‘yes’ and then resent it later?  Welcome to the club of people that know what it feels like to be used.  The motto of the club is that being ‘liked’ takes

    Read more

    Join us for our 2017 Stepmom Retreats! Stepfamily life is tough. The only thing that is tougher than blending the family is keeping your marriage intact.  Statistics vary from a 50% to 75% divorce rate in a marriage where there are children from a prior relationship.  Anyone who is a member of a stepfamily will attest that they had no idea what they were getting into. Parenting and the

    Read more

    Would You Compete at The Olympics if You Never Trained? Would you enter an Olympic event without training?  Envision yourself diving into the pool next to Michael Phelps.  Stand next to Simone Biles and, together, perform a floor exercise.  Meet Katie Ledecky at the pool and race her in the 400 metre free style.  Close your eyes and see yourself in any of these scenarios.  Did you win? 

    Read more